Your Ex Is Over You: How To Stop Caring In 7 Steps - Naomi Kizhner (2024)

Getting over someone is not easy, whether it is an ex, a friend, or a relative. Perhaps you were betrayed or deceived, or you simply decided that it was not good for you to be around them anymore. Whatever the reason was, it should be your top priority to start looking towards the future.

Have no doubt — it is extremely necessary to learn how to stop caring and leave it all behind because this is the only way to cope with all the pain.

There is no quick remedy for a broken heart, but it is possible to accelerate and ease the process of forgetting. With a strong will and unwavering spirit, anything is possible, and these 7 steps will show you how to stop caring and focus on yourself for a change.

How To Stop Caring In 7 Steps

#1. Remember all the bad things

Getting rid of intense emotions like anger, love, and sadness is a long and painful process, but an absolute must after a break-up. Instead of ignoring and suppressing these emotions, the best thing you can do for yourself right now is to leave it all behind.

Don’t be afraid to cry or talk to someone. Consider seeing a therapist, for example, as it really helped me after I broke up with my partner. All that matters is that you find something that calms you down and resolves you of negative feelings that mustn’t stay locked deep within you.

A lot of people begin idealizing their (once) ’significant other’ after the break-up. Suddenly, they start remembering all those precious moments they had — the first date, first kiss, first holiday, etc.

One thing leads to another, and suddenly, there you are, “living it up” like a couch potato with your head full of vivid pictures of the two of you, perfectly happy and smiling. In a flash, you find yourself thinking about how your ex was actually great.

One of the most important tips is to remember the bad times and all the negative things you experienced with your ex. Remember all the fights and problems. Summarize all of their bad habits and suspicious behaviors. Trust me — it’ll be like a cold shower.

#2. Don’t torture yourself

It’s important that, when your relationship falls apart, you realize that you’re the winner here, not the loser. Do NOT overrate your ex — their appearance, traits, or personality. Try to be realistic, because if it was good, it would still last.

The sooner you understand this, the sooner you’ll forget them. You’re not the only one left by their partner. Others have survived — and you will too.

Don’t let the break-up disturb you both mentally and physically. Take a deep breath and close your eyes because sorrow lasts only as long as you allow it.

Bravely and confidently dealing with the problem is one of the first and most important steps in getting over someone. This is especially true regarding people who are more emotional than rational.

Simply face the facts. The fact is that the relationship has ended and that life must continue.

You should want to continue in the right direction, though. Taking the right direction implies learning from the experience and thinking of how to implement it next time around.

#3. Learn how to forgive

You are probably hurt and upset, but it is necessary to forgive if you really want to understand how to forget.

I remember being full of hatred and all kinds of negative emotions when my first boyfriend left me just a week after my birthday! I couldn’t let it go, so I wished something bad to happen to him — anything at all! Basically, I was in a dark place and trying to justify how I felt about the situation.

Don’t do this for them, but for your mental health. Forgiveness is not easy, but hatred will prevent you from moving on.

The problem with ugly break-ups is that you will never find answers to all the questions that are troubling you. Don’t waste your time thinking about what could’ve been. It is clear that your relationship is over, so stop hoping. Admit the reality and turn towards the future.

#4. Cut all ties

This is a difficult step, but an absolute must if you want to forget someone. Delete their phone number, email, and all social media contacts as if nothing had ever existed.

The only way to truly get over someone and continue with a normal life is to cut all the connections you had with your loved one.

This means no conversations, no text messages — nothing. Every second you spend checking your ex’s Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram profile takes you right back to the beginning of your rehabilitation process.

So stop right away. You need complete isolation from anything that could remind you of them.

The best thing would be to actually stop using social media. Yes, the abstinence crisis is going to catch you because using social media affects your brain like a drug.

#5. Rediscover yourself

Dedicate yourself to your inner self and try to fulfill all of those wishes you were not able to when you were in a relationship.

Get a new haircut or change your car. Travel somewhere with your friends or buy yourself something expensive you’ve been fantasizing about for a while. Enjoy the day and use every moment however you feel like, even if it means lying on the couch and doing nothing at all.

Then again, instead of sitting at home all alone, it is better sometimes to try spending some quality time with your family and friends. Go out with them, breathe in some fresh air.

You’ll see — time will pass quickly, and you’ll enjoy the day off and forget about the break-up. Good company guarantees you a good time, so use it.

All of this will help you rediscover yourself, forget about your former relationship, and move on. If you think you can’t move on, you’re wrong.

Remember that you had a life before this relationship and that everything worked in a normal way. So, stop asking yourself how to stop caring because the answer is right before you.

#6. Make a change

Now that you have all the time in the world for yourself, you’re probably wondering what to do with it.

Well, now that you are alone, I suggest you start thinking about possible hobbies. Furthermore, you could start going to the gym or start running, for example. Physical activity can do wonders for the well-being of both your mind and soul.

This is a healthy way to expel all that break-up frustration. Getting fit is also a good way to raise your self-esteem. And don’t forget: a gym is a great place where you can meet a lot of people (another reason to start exercising!).

Change your daily routine. For example, if you were already running regularly before, start running early now. Also, find a buddy to run with. That will help you divert your thoughts and mind from painful memories.

Getting a new routine and lifestyle is a powerful way of getting over someone. It will almost certainly help you overcome the negative emotions caused by the break-up.

Last but not least: everything absolutely depends on you. It is up to you to consciously make an effort to get over the loss of the person you love. Furthermore, once you say that to yourself and make the first step, life will most certainly start going in the right direction.

#7. Give yourself time

Everyone wants to figure out how to stop caring and get rid of bad memories as soon as possible, but that doesn’t mean that time will always be on your side. Depending on the personality, someone might need a few weeks, up to several months, or even years to forget what they want.

Don’t rush yourself into a new relationship. Even if you meet someone new and exciting, it would be best if you gave yourself time. You need solitude in order to rebuild your life and habits.

However, this is not a rule. The best advice is to listen to your feelings. If they say that it’s time for something else, then great. But, if you are not totally confident that you are all ready for a new adventure and a fresh chapter, do not get yourself into it because it will only make you feel worse.

Conclusion

I got to know men very well over the years. Actually, most of us women know men better than they know us. We are worlds apart in most aspects, but when it comes to bad break-ups, we share a common feeling — pain.

I’ve been there before (quite a few times) and have thought extensively about how to stop caring. I’ve come to the conclusion that two things are certain.

First, you will suffer. Second, it won’t last forever. So, always try to look on the bright side of life and the fact that pain has a limit — you’ll feel much better.